We booked a Lekki short-let for my birthday. The host knew all our names before we arrived.

A calm voice. He said it was a private hospitality experiment, that everything was legal, that we had agreed in the terms we ticked at booking. He said the next-Saturday date meant that Tobi was our nominated guest for a free upgrade. He sounded proud. We drove home with the box on the back seat and no one said anything.

We called the platform. They said the listing had never existed. We opened the box again at Tobi's flat. A new photograph had been placed on top, face down. We turned it over. It was the six of us, laughing in the living room of that flat, taken from inside the wardrobe. Written underneath: Thank you for staying, see you soon.