Velvet Palm, Lekki: rings in the bowl, phones in the basket, husbands to the left

What the receptionist told me, in order: 1. Rings go in the bowl. 2. Phones go in the basket. 3. Husbands use the left corridor. 4. Nobody uses real names. Then I watched three men from my church walk down that left corridor like they had a loyalty card. I told her I had the wrong address and left. The friend who booked it has stopped answering.